shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
