Its about making memories worth repressing
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
