Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
