Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
