About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
