she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He better not be in your backpack
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
