whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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