Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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