And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
