Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
50% drunk capacity currently
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sext me about skeletons
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
