Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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