There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
After tacos, we're chasing women.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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