your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I think I just sharted jello shots
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
