Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
