Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
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