also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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