He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i think im in europe. pls send help
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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