The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
