he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
