so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
