Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
