If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
