also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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