I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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