you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
