We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
