My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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