We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
