Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
