Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
