she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
