i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
