the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
