Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
