i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
