You work out of a Hotel?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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