is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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