You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Randomize
