my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
