If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
