I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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