This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize