This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
we're so committed to being not committed
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