she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
