The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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