bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
