i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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