come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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