i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
