shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
