idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
