Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
