I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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